Three Steps to Long Term Sobriety

 

Three Steps to Long Term Sobriety

Sober Living

The failure rate is frightening when it comes to addicts recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. Based on publically available statistics, a small percentage of us will actually achieve life-long sobriety. Although it is definitely possible, the odds are not in favor of us breaking through that difficult barrier. Many will struggle and fail to achieve this goal. If you want to succeed, you need to have a firm grip on a few key principles that can propel you to success.

Contents

lessmore

Permanent link to this knol:

Link

Living Homes, Bridge Sober. Three Steps to Long Term Sobriety:Sober Living [Internet]. Version 2. Knol. 2011 Apr 21. Available from: http://knol.google.com/k/bridge-sober-living-homes/three-steps-to-long-term-sobriety/3998bex8zqw3w/1.

CitationEmailPrintFavoriteCollect this page

---

1. The zero tolerance policy
It is amazing how often this policy is avoided and pushed into the background of conventional recovery treatment. The concept is powerful and very simple to grasp. It begins with making a pact with yourself that you will not use drugs and alcohol no matter what happens. Then the rest of your life is simply structured around maintaining this personal self-agreement. The pact you have made to yourself offers the benefits of peace, serenity, and growth in the quest of your ultimate sobriety goal.
The bedrock foundation of your commitment is that the zero tolerance policy must take priority above anything else going on in your life. You simply "can’t go to this horrible and dark planet." Practicing this can have a real impact on your overall level of happiness and life stability.
For example, if you are having a difficult day and are experiencing thoughts of wanting to drink or use drugs, you have to implement the zero tolerance policy, like the crew of Star Trek uses the “red Alert”, and immediately fire breaking thrusters to shut this down. If you find that this isn't working, and the invading thoughts of using alcohol or drugs continue to repeat inside your head, then you must take immediate action to overcome your craving....before it escalates further. Different people will have diverse methods of coping with this condition. For example, some of you might call a sponsor, others will attend a meeting, and some people might phone a friend who is going through recovery and communicate about these difficult cravings and thoughts about using. Whatever works for you is what works....the key is that you need to be proactive in this solution and always maintain the zero tolerance policy. This means shutting down any glorification or romancing thoughts of drinking or using drugs.
2. Holistic approach
As your recovery progresses and you begin to accumulate more sober time, the challenge of staying clean on a day-to-day basis starts becoming a little easier as your cravings slowly subside. You will actually begin to find peace, serenity, and balance in your daily life. Relapse is still a threat, and always will be of course, but now the challenge starts shifting away from simply achieving survival by abstinence and towards accomplishing something greater with your life.
A holistic approach to recovery is what drives success in this area. The concept of holistic emphasizes your whole life. Bringing your existence into a full state of balance is a powerful step toward achieving life-long sobriety. As your recovery progresses, life becomes meaningful again, and the need for balance becomes increasingly important as the recovering person gains more responsibilities in their life. There are a number of ways that a broad, holistic approach to recovery can facilitate achieving this balance for a lasting and powerful sobriety.
3. Create your life with vision and purpose.
Would you like to know what really motivates the recovering alcoholic and has the potential to supercharge their recovery? The answer lies in moving beyond mere abstinence from chemicals and discovering the creative new life forces in recovery. This is about finding your passion and purpose in a new life while growing as a person and possibly helping other people in a meaningful way. Life becomes exciting again and you start to look forward to each new day.

Do you remember how exciting and fun the "good times" were when you first started drinking and drugging? Those days are gone forever, but you can start living with that same passion and excitement in your life again by discovering the creative life and applying the principles to your recovery. Finding a support family or group, which you can find peace is 50% of your battle. Support groups have been found to provide a better chance for your success.

This is an article from Knol, a blog of Bridges Sober Living. The link to the blog is attached.
http://knol.google.com/k/bridge-sober-living-homes/three-steps-to-long-term-sobriety/3998bex8zqw3w/1#

Life goes on...This too shall pass....More will be revealed.

I am so, so grateful to live a sober life of adventure. In the next two weeks, I will do daily marathon training, complete a course on addiction counseling from Stonebridge University in the United Kingdom, study for and take my Certified Addiction Specialist exam on June 10, 2011, serve as Chairperson for the We Are Not Saints Recovery Roundup - June 2-5, 2011 at Gay Days in Orlando, Florida, and continue my work as a law clerk with two lawyers. I face a monumental amount of pressure and stress, but I pray and get quiet in meditation.  I stay connected with others, eat right and get good exercise. And I am sober.  In 2 more days, it will be 5 years.

Four years ago on Memorial Day, I was preparing for leaving the next day to surrender to the Federal Prison Camp in Pensacola, Florida.  I would fly to Atlanta, see my friend, Odini, and then fly to Pensacola where I would spend 10 months to make amends...

Yesterday, I met with my AA sponsor.  I rarely speak about AA because this blog does not endorse or reflect AA.  But I did a formal 5th Step, for the third time.  It is an incredible experience to share the darkest things about yourself to God and another human being.  It shines light on shadows. 

I have so much sork ahead still to clean up the wrekage of my past, but I am making progress - even as I continue to make mistakes which I must clean up as well. 

I went to the beach this morning to run and I took my mother so that she could walk and have her time with God.  I think about the people I love and the fact that a life lived awake is so glorious.  I am a sober alcoholic and I am helping people.  This is really good.  I make mistakes, but today I am really doing good work, God's work.  I am worth something and I am worthy again. 

Four years ago, I thought nothing good would ever happen again in my. life  I could not imagine or see a good life.  I cannot tell you how many people have enriched my life and that what I thought was the end was actually a new dawn and a wonderful new beginning.

Sober Life is about taking healthy risks...

In my alcoholism, my judgment became impaired all the time, whether I was intoxicated or not, because I was hiding mistakes I had made or cutting corners for lost or wasted time.  I took unbelievably unhealthy risks to myself and others.  Once sober, there is a tendency to play it safe and that can be a very good thing, but playing it too safe can cut me off from esteem building, potential reaching acts...Sober life is about taking healthy risks.  To live fully and largely can exist along with humility and peace. 

Today, I will take sober risks.  I heard recently the story of a woman who did not want to hope for great love because she felt that she was unworthy of great love.  She settled for a mediocre, uninteresting, passionless relationship and, in the end, that relationship failed too.  She became so despairing because she thought that perhaps it would have been better to seek the best and fail, rather than seek the easily obtainable and fail.  Perhaps minor failure is worse than great failure when the stakes are not so high...

How We See the World

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."
- Anaïs Nin

It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves."
- Carl Jung

They say that alcholism or addiction is a disease of perception because alcholics or addicts take mind or mood altering substances to alter our perceptions.  Recovery, sustained recovery, I believe is the ability to change our perceptions to exist in this world at peace, happiness and joy...and also in the face of tragedy, crisis, sadness, disappointment and failure. Recovery from a disease of perception is the ability to achieve a change in perception so as not resort self-defeating, self-destructive and self-limiting actions.  Recovery is accepting that the bad stuff is the good stuff.

Father and Son

Today is my father's 75th birthday.  We are very different and we agree on very little, but my sobriety has been the bridge to our relationship.  I do not know why we see the world so differently, but I am grateful for the ability to learn another perspective.  I am grateful for the lesson I have learned on what to do and what not to do.  I am grateful for my father's humanity.  When I was very young, I wanted to worship him and then I learned that I could not and I saw his weaknesses. 

When I became so sick, he really hated what had happened to me, but never stopped loving me.  Today, he does not understand or approve of so much of me, but he has unfaltering loyalty and support of me anyway.  My father is a paradox and that is fine with me because all good things in my life are paradoxes. Happy Birthday, Pops!

Confidence...Going in the direction of my dreams

"Every man [woman] is born into the world to do something unique and something distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never get done." - Benjamin Mays (1895-1984) Educator.  On May 19, I turned 49 and I have so much adventure left.  I have a dream to build a treatment center in Orlando, Florida and I must do this to make amends. 

Sober Adventure...when one ends, another begins.

One year ago today, I was in Chicago to appear before in federal court before the Chief Judge of the Northern District of Illinois to present my motion to terminate my probation early.  The federal prosecutor, Nancy and Jim T, from the Federal Defender's office were there.  Judge Holderman presided.  The motion was granted and I was finally out of a four year nightmare.  But I caused that nightmare.  My problems are always of my own making.

In the last year, I have had so many sober adventures. The Chicago Marathon and the Miami Marathon.  About 10 half marathons - Daytona Beach, Space Coast, Gasparilla, Floridathon, Orlando OUC, Miami Beach, Florida AIA and Melbourne Music Half.  I have made countless new friends.  Sailed. Studied.  Written books. Discovered new artists.  Enjoyed sunsets and sunrises.  Full moons.  Seen incredible animals. 

Cherished people - Brenda, Kelly, Reggie, Ramel, Carlos, Bill, my parents, Terry and Michael, Claire, Todd and Julie, Corey, Rafael, Gail, Imelda, and Emmanuel Jal. 

I am alive and healthy.  I am sober. It is all I need. Not all I want, but all I need.

Endeavor

So today was the final launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor, the youngest space ship in the fleet.  We watched outside from Orlando, Florida as it took off from Kennedy Space Center.  The USA hit its debt ceiling of $15 trillion today and many other things happened around the world.  I told my story to ex-federal prisoners at Dismas Charities and perhaps I inspired them to try to change their lives.  All I know is I did my best today and will go to bed to get up and do it again tomorrow.

What could be so important?

I am running around marathon multistasking today.  This meditation helped me go back to a better place:

What Could Be So Important?

Make not treasures on earth, where moth
and rust corrupt and thieves break in and steal.  Find your treasures in heaven. Wherever a man’s
treasures are, there will be his heart. — Jesus Christ

When I travel, I carry a black briefcase that contains all of my important materials, including a computer, airline tickets, checks I have received, and an address book. Because these items are so vital, I keep the briefcase with me almost all the time. Before delivering a lecture one evening, I set the briefcase down next to the stage, and when I looked for it after the talk, it was not there. Suddenly my heart seemed to skip a beat, and I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. My fear that the satchel had been stolen was almost debilitating. When I asked the lecture sponsor if she had seen the briefcase, she answered, “Oh, yes, I put it in my office for safekeeping. ”

While I was relieved that the briefcase was safe, I could not help but notice how I had tied my peace to it. I asked myself, “What in that brief–case could be so important that I would lose the peace of God with it? ” I wondered how much the anxiety over protecting the property had cost me in the long run. It was a poor trade. What you possess, possesses you. Whenever we value a thing more than happiness, we pay a dear price. Things can be replaced, but peace cannot.

Is there anything you value so much that you would lose your happiness if you lost it? Have your succumbed to worshiping at the altar of fear rather than the citadel of trust? What is your black briefcase?

The Sufis suggest, “Do not value anything that could be washed over–board from a ship. ” When we remember we are here to love, all else becomes secondary.

Help me keep You first today.
Let me not make any false gods before You.

I live to love. I am safe. My heart is at peace.

----------
This meditation is an excerpt from Alan Cohen's meditation book, A Deep Breath of Life. If you liked today's meditation, please support the author and purchase the book by clicking here.

Click Here to Log In to InTheRooms.com and Get Centered For The Day

Staying Conscious - Rules for Staying Humble

Staying Conscious

Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World

1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down the. You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.

2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.

3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.

4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.

5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.

6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members - loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.

7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.

8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often.  After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.

9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.

10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often "on the go" and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.

These were taken from a message I received from a publication called the Daily Om.com.

MOTHER'S DAY

My mother was the last one to give up on me when I was in the grip of my alcoholism and she kept me alive when I probably should have died.  She, admittedly, enabled and was majorly codependent, but it was because of her dedication to me that I ultimately did get sober and never give up on anyone.  Never.   She was told to let me stay on the street, to give up on me and let me be homeless.  She was told thtat I had to fall as hard as possible.  She would not let that happen, but at the same time, she never stopped pushing me to never give up on myself. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!!

It's never too late to start your day over...or your entire life!

I remember getting up one day feeling great and then one thing after another kept going wrong until I finally decided to erase the day clean and start the day over...We can do that for the day or for the event...or for our entire life.  Starting fresh is great.  Just starting.

Today is 05-05-11.  It is as good a day as any to start something new...I am going take control of myself and do one thing to bring me closer to a goal, a dream, a target..."Whatever you can do, or dream you can, BEGIN IT! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." Goethe

Attitude of Gratitude

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread.  They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances..." - Victor Frankl

Today, I had to run around and get documents for my application for the Certified Addiction Specialist certification and I met with my former probation officer, one of the best people I have met in Orlando, and I met with the director of Crossroads Treatment Center, again a truly wonderful person.  Both women gave me encouragement and cared about me because they know that I care about others...I try to be the one giving away my bread...but today, I am hungry.I have given it all away.

I am grateful for so, so many things, but today I am grateful that I know this is just a day, just one day.

May - The Month of Intergrity - My Adventure in Restoring Integrity

Yesterday, I went paddleboarding with six friends in recovery and I had set up the trip.  I am one month shy of 5 years of recovery and I was reminded how I would dream of planning adventures for friends - but have neither friends nor adventures.  Today, I have friends and adventures.  Today, I have integrity.  Of all the things I lost to my alcholism, my integrity was the most precious and one of the last things to go...I became a person of many promises and few commitments.  In my recovery, I do now what I was well known for prior to my addiction - I always did what I said I was going to do.  Today, I carry through. I am dependable.  You can count on me.