Sober New Year 2012-2013

New Year is a Challenging Time for Recovering Alcoholics

New Year’s celebrations tend to be fueled by alcohol. Even those individuals who do not normally drink during the rest of the year will make an exception for such a special occasion. As the clock counts down to midnight on New Year’s Eve, many adults in most Western countries will be at least slightly inebriated. There is also a surge in the number of alcohol-related accidents at this time. With so much emphasis on alcohol, it can be difficult for those who are trying to quit or have already entered recovery. The festive season is a time when those in recovery are at risk of relapse. A significant percentage of these people will never get another shot at sobriety. It is therefore vital that everything that can be done is done to avoid such casualties.

The Dangers of New Year for Recovery Alcoholics

New Year can be a dangerous time for recovering alcoholics because:

·         This is a time of year where there are many social gatherings involving alcohol. It is like the whole world is partying, and those in recovery can feel left out of the celebrations. It can be difficult to avoid being swept away by such merriment. The recovering alcoholic can even start to kid themselves that one drink for the New Year won’t hurt.

·         Alcoholics will tend to have traditions related to New Years festivities which involve drinking alcohol. Those individuals who are in early recovery can find it difficult to break away from these traditions.

·         Alcoholics may have fond memories of drunken New Year’s Eve celebrations in the past. This means that they can begin to romance the drink. Such thinking can easily lead to relapse. These memories are tricky, these good times less wonderful than memory suggests.

·         This is a time of year for meeting up with old friends and acquaintances. If these are former drinking buddies there can be a great deal of pressure to rekindle the friendship over a few drinks.

·         Some people in recovery can get a type of pleasure out of watching other people drink alcohol. This may seem like a harmless activity but it can lead to intense cravings to relapse.

·         Those who are estranged from family can feel incredibly lonely at New Year. Loneliness is a common excuse used by people to justify their relapse. It needs to be avoided at New Year or this relapse trigger could lead people back to sitting on a barstool.

How to Avoid Relapse at New Year

These are some of the measures people can take to ensure that they [do not relapse over the New Year period] (http://alcoholrehab.com/alcohol-rehab/holiday-temptations-for-alcoholics/):

·         The New Year season is a good time to focus more on recovery. Those who belong to a recovery fellowship will benefit from going to more meetings at this time. The atmosphere at these gatherings is especially festive, so attending can be fun. This will help those in recovery feel stronger and better able to cope with the New Year build up. Those who do not belong to a support group may want to spend more time reading recovery literature or become involved with one of the online recovery communities.

·         If people find that they are beginning to romance the drink they need to challenge such thoughts. They can do this by remembering the bad times as well as the supposedly good times. The fact that the individual needed to give up alcohol in the first place is evidence enough that things could not have been so wonderful. Those who are in recovery need to be aware of how memory can be treacherous and ready to combat such thinking.

·         Keeping a journal is always good way to stay strong and motivated. The individual can use this as an outlet for their frustrations and concerns. The ability to get fears down on paper makes a difference. They can seem less threatening when they are there in black and white. Reading back on old journal entries can be a wonderful way to judge progress and can act as a reminder of the reasons it is worth staying on the sober path.

·         Those individuals who have a sponsor may want to make use of this resource during the New Year build up. A sponsor is able to offer support and one-to-one guidance. They will be able to share their experience of making it through this potentially dangerous time of year.

·         Arranging a party where there will be no alcoholic drinks available can be a good way to ensure a sober New Year. It is not only people in recovery who appreciate sober parties. There are many non-drinkers who do not enjoy being around those who are inebriated. They find it boring. An alcohol-free party can be a wonderful way to see in the New Year.

·         Groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous tend to arrange sober parties. Those who are staying in rehab can also get to enjoy seasonal activities.

·         It is not advisable that people in early recovery stay at home alone during these celebrations. It is best to spend time with some sober friends or visit non-drinking family members.

How to Survive a Party at New Year

It is probably not a good idea for those in early recovery to go to a New Year’s party where alcohol is going to be flowing. Even those who are well established in their sobriety can find such events a challenge. Sometimes though, it can be difficult to avoid such events, and there may be a situation where the individual feels they cannot get out of going. For example, it may be expected as part of a job commitment. If the individual feels that they are at high risk of relapse then they should avoid this party no matter what the consequences. Here are a few ideas for how people can survive a New Year’s party:

·         It may sound a bit odd but it can actually help to practice saying no to alcoholic drinks before the party. This can be better done with the help of somebody else in the form of role play. Some partygoers can be particularly persistent when it comes to getting other people to drink, often because they have their own alcohol demons pulling the strings. It is best to be prepared for such doggedness. In most instances, a firm no will be enough to end such questioning. Giving a longwinded answer can just lead to further questioning.

·         One of the best ways to survive these gatherings is to bring along another friend who is not going to be drinking alcohol. If this individual is also in recovery, then it is vital that their sobriety is well-established. Otherwise, both of these attendees could be at risk of relapse.

·         It can also be helpful to take along some addiction recovery material. There days this can be discreetly done using Smartphone such as the iPhone. There are many apps available that are designed for people recovering from addiction. These include written, audio and video material.

·         It is crucial to check ahead to make sure that there will be suitable non-alcoholic drinks available. If they are not then the individual will want to bring along their own favorite soft drink.

·         It is not a good idea for people in recovery to ever leave their drink unattended. There are some nasty individuals who enjoy spiking the drinks of other people by adding alcohol to them. The person who engages in such behavior may think that they are livening up the party, but it can be devastating for people in recovery to find out that there drink has been spiked.

·         If people feel that they feel overwhelmed by the occasion, they should leave right away. They should then seek assistance and support from a sober friend or recovery group. It is best to plan an escape route before they attend.

Sober Resolutions for the New Year

There are plenty of individuals who managed to finally break away from their alcohol addiction at New Year. It is well known that most people will fail to keep their resolutions, but there are plenty of individuals who buck this trend. There is no need for those who are suffering because of their addiction to wait until this event to stop. There is no advantage to extending such misery by even one more day. It is always better to give up alcohol abuse now rather than waiting for some special later date. This is because there is no guarantee that the motivation to stop will still be there when this time comes.

How to Enjoy New Year Celebrations in Recovery

It is definitely possible for people in recovery to enjoy New Year. In fact it is usual for those with established sobriety to claim that it becomes more enjoyable than any time in the past. It may sound like a bit of a cliché but people do not need alcohol to have a good time. Once the individual becomes secure in their sobriety, the festive season becomes something to look forward to rather than something to be dreaded.

Happy Sober New Year!

The end of 2012 and new beginnings

A new day has come.



Christmas Eve

Since I was a little kid, I love this holiday.  Whether in snow or in the tropics, it is such a wonderful time to feel hope, to feel love and to imagine peace on earth.  Whether it is simply a symbol or a manifestation of God's love, it is the time of year that I feel it and prepare for a new, better year to come.  I would hate to miss a minute of it.

Winter Solstice - End of the World

The shortest day and longest night of the world does not extinguish the light in our hearts....Today the world was projected to end according to an ancient Mayan calendar.  It did not.  For alcoholics and addicts, we always had a sense of pending doom.  In recovery, we learned that of the hundreds of things we fretted and worried about, a few, a very few actually happened.

Christmas Preparation

 

 

Last night I hung up the last of the Christmas decorations on the bay and husstled to get to the point where I can just marvel at the beauty...I remembered this -
“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost l...uggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. " - Maya Angelou

Mistakes

Progress, not perfection

Overcoming obstacles

Tomorrow I will complete my 12th Full Marathon for 2012 and my challenge to run 12 marathons for Run for GUA Africa.  I never imagined I could do one full marathon - never.  I now have done it.This year I have also acheived dreams in my professional life that I never dreamed possible.  If you want to impress me, don't tell me what you have, what you have done or who you know...tell me what you have overcome.

12-12-12

 

12-12-12

I ran 12 miles, I cycled 12 miles and I meditated 12 minutes.  12 Steps that saved my life.

Never Give Up

 

I beleve that "giving up" is the most common reason that people do not achieve their dreams and achieve long lasting sobriety.  We get tired.  We get discouraged.  We don't know what we need to do.  But the answer is often so easy.  The answer is often so clear - it is simply to keep going, to keep running and to keep charging forward. 

Adventure requires Self-Care

FAITH - Fear Ain't In This House!

New Beginnings

 

I am dealing with many people right now who are listening to their disturbed minds when the answers to their angst lay in the heart of their soul.  It is so difficult to cut through the chatter of the mind.

On February 11, 2011, I founded Absolute Adventure Radical Recovery, Inc. as a Florida corporation to provide intervention and treatment services for substance abuse and process addictions. Since then, I have engaged in and participated in over 50 interventions and all of them have been successful.  Each one becomes  Today, I have informally joined Intervention Specialists to collaborate on a difficult intervention.  They are the best and I am so honored to be given this opportunity.

Thanksgiving

I am so grateful for this life today.  Up early to work out with my trainer, Ramel, who inspires me. Then visiting my parents and bicycling with my mother.  Turkey, stuffing, vegetables and delicious food.  Gratitude...and I never imagined being happy again.  Never, never give up before the miracle happens. 

I have two interventions that are uniquely challenging and life-changing for everyone involved. Praying for guidance and right outcomes.

Hope

A Life of Gratitude

Grattiude

Clearwater TriRock Olumpic Triathlon

The Clearwater TriRock Triathlon was my second triathlon and my tenth marathon race for 2012.  I was so tired and wanted to give up...just give up.  But I did not.  I kept going because that is what sober people do.  We don't give up.

The Real Workout

My front tag on my Jeep says "Never Give Up" with a map of Africa in the background and my whole motto is "Never Give Up", but I so often want to give up and not persevere.  But I do.  I know that the real workout begins when I don't feel like I can keep going...

Training Daily in all Aspects of our Lives

This is true of just about everything...I am 50 years old now, but in many ways, the best shape of my life.  I am working out with two different trainers, practicing yoga and daily meditation, kayaking and SUP paddleboarding, swimming and cycling, and running 15-20 miles a week.  Now, to practice these principles in all my affairs.

November - The month of Spirituality and Gratitude

Daily Discipline

Gratitude

TODAY, I AM HAPPY.  I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR.

Why people don't stay clean and sober

Why don’t people stay clean and sober?

1.             Step 1 – We admitted that we were powerless – that our lives had become unmanageable.

a.       Part I – They don’t believe that they are powerless over alcohol / drugs.

                                                               i.      They think that they can still do it safely.

                                                             ii.      They have not surrendered to the evidence before them.

                                                            iii.      They do not believe that their problems are related to their substance abuse.

                                                           iv.      Once they quit, their problems do not go away, so they convince themselves that drugs and alcohol are not the cause.

b.      Part II – They do not believe that their lives are unmanageable.

                                                               i.      They think their problems are not too severe.

                                                             ii.      They think their problems are related to other issues.

                                                            iii.      They blame others for their unmanageability.

HONESTY – SURRENDER - ACCEPTANCE

2.       Step 2 – Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.

a.       They don’t believe that they are insane.

b.      They don’t believe in any power greater than themselves.

c.       They confuse the “god” or “higher power” with religion and resent religion.

d.      They don’t believe that there is hope.

                                                               i.      They don’t believe that THEY can be restored to sanity.

                                                             ii.      They believe in self-reliance or self-sufficiency holds the power.

                                                            iii.      They don’t believe that the power can restore us to sanity or deserve to be restored to sanity.

                                                           iv.      They don’t believe that their lives are insane; that doing something differently will make any difference.

HOPE

3.       Step 3 – Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him/her/it

a.       They take back their decision.

b.      They don’t trust or keep faith.

c.       They don’t wait long enough to see the outcome or the good that comes from a situation.

d.      They don’t let go and let God.

e.      They forget that acceptance is the answer to all their problems.

FAITH – TRUST

Fitness and Recovery

Angelo Hemin Fitness Guru

The Benefits of Exercise in Addiction Recovery

For some of us who have been struggling to overcome an addiction to drugs or a dependence upon alcohol, the road to recovery literally is a road (or, in other cases, a path, a trail or a track). For those of us, physical fitness programs that involve running, walking or hiking help us develop the mental clarity and physical strength that we need to achieve and maintain long-term sobriety.

Incorporating a regimen of regular exercise into our lives can benefit recovering individuals in the following five ways:

1. Provide a healthy outlet for negative emotions — Instead of turning to drugs in unproductive efforts to cope with stress, pressure or disappointment, individuals who have established a healthy exercise regimen can work out our problems while working out.
2. Develop discipline — Self-discipline is an essential component of the pursuit of long-term recovery, and following a regular exercise routine is a way of practicing this type of personal accountability.
3. Increase focus — Working out on a regular basis requires us to plan our time and pay attention to our bodies — two activities that are also important parts of staying sober.
4. Enhance confidence — As we develop our bodies through exercise, we are also developing our confidence and sense of accomplishment. These acknowledgments of ability and success can come in handy when confronted with the challenges of recovery.
5. Fill time — Being an addict can be quite time-consuming, with large chunks of one’s day devoted to finding, acquiring, using and recovering from one’s substance of choice. One positive way to fill those “empty hours” is by engaging in regular sessions of vigorous exercise.

The goal of addiction treatment is twofold: to stop using and to maintain long-term recovery. By incorporating healthy nutrition and exercise practices into your daily life, you enhance your ability to successfully achieve both of these goals.

 

The End of Summer

Today is the last day of summer.  The last day of summer always brings a sense of melancholy. Like when I was a kid, I thought "This is going to be the best summer ever!"  Then, it would end and I had many hopes are dreams left unfinished and unfulfilled. In recovery, I recognize that each season has its gifts and each season gives me what the others cannot.  I can be grateful for the temporary, ciclical nature of everything.

Making room for positive thoughts in my life

Life is a Beach Triathlon

 

On Saturday, my brother and I participated in the Life's a Beach Triathlon in Sarasota, Florida and we had an awesome time.  We swam, we cycled and ran through the beach, through the trails, and through the water.  This is sobriety.  This is paradise.

Meditation

Spritual Experiences

Father Mychal Judge

The first responder to die in the 9/11/01 terrorist attack was Father Mychal Judge.  Father Mychal was a gay, recovering alcholic and a saint.
Mychal's Prayer:c. Holy Name Province

Lord, take me where You want me to go,
let me meet who You want me to meet,
tell me what You want me to say,
and keep me out of Your way.

Why people get sober, but don't stay sober...

Why don’t people stay clean and sober?

1.       Step 1 – We admitted that we were powerless – that our lives had become unmanageable.

a.       Part I – They don’t believe that they are powerless over alcohol / drugs.

                                                               i.      They think that they can still do it safely

                                                             ii.      They have not surrendered to the evidence before them.

                                                            iii.      They do not believe that their problems are related to their substance abuse.

 

b.      Part II – They do not believe that their lives are unmanageable.

                                                               i.      They think their problems are not too severe.

                                                             ii.      They think their problems are related to other issues.

                                                            iii.      They blame others for their unmanageability.

 

HONESTY – SURRENDER - ACCEPTANCE

 

2.       Step 2 – Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.

a.       They don’t believe that there is hope.

                                                               i.      They don’t believe that THEY can be restored to sanity

                                                             ii.      They believe in self-reliance or self-sufficiency holds the power.

                                                            iii.      They don’t believe that the power can restore us to sanity or deserve to be restored to sanity.

                                                           iv.      They don’t believe that their lives are insane; that doing something differently will make any difference.

 

HOPE

 

3.       Step 3 – Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him/her/it

a.       They take back their decision.

b.      They don’t trust or keep faith.

c.       They don’t wait long enough to see the outcome or the good that comes from a situation.

d.      They don’t let go and let God.

e.      They forget that acceptance is the answer to all their problems.

FAITH – TRUST

Reggie Mckee