Happy Father's Day

Today is father's day and I love my father.  He has been the best father that he can be.  He is 75 years old this year and has had an incredibly good life. Yet he has never seemed content or happy.  My father is not an alcoholic, but he father was a severe chronic alcoholic and was very abusive to my father.  My father has a speach impediment for which he is very self-conscious.  My father is a rage-a-holic and is in denial of the effect that his rage has had on his life.  The dyamic is the same. 

Sometimes being with my father is very difficult.  He has a good heart, but is incapable of speaking from it.  He never has a problem expressing himself in rage, but he has infinite patience with children and never forgets a name.  He is very ego driven and he has many fears.  In many ways, we are very similar.  When I was young I could not wait to get away and lead my own life.  When my alcoholism took control of my life, I disgusted him but he never condemned or belittled me.  Like our Great Father, he showed infinite mercy. 

In recover, we learn to make peace with people in our lives that create conflict.  I have been the recipient of great generosity from my parents over the last several years as I reclaim my life and my father has adjusted to my fall and failure with tremendous grace and acceptance.  He is still proud of me.  I am very proud of him.

Shakespeare said "When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father; both cry." I am grateful that we have done more laughing than crying."