Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Freedom in difficult times
The wonderful thing about living a sober life is that no matter how hard days can seem and no matter how difficult circumstances may be, I no longer have...dread - that horrible sense of impending doom. In recovery, we can still screw up. We can still make mistakes, but we now have the tools to make amends, to fix our errors and make things right. We can still do what is required and be responsible. In recovery, responsibility means the ability to respond to life and all that life calls upon us to do.
Monday, January 21, 2013
MLK Day - Obama Inauguration
Here is a collection of 25 famous
Martin Luther King Jr. quotes:
"A genuine
leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus."
"An
individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines
of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."
"A lie
cannot live."
"A nation
or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own
spiritual death on the installment plan."
"A man can't ride your back unless it's bent."
"A right
delayed is a right denied."
"A riot is
the language of the unheard."
"At the
center of non-violence stands the principle of love.""Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see."
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
"Human
progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of
justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and
passionate concern of dedicated individuals."
"I am not
interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is
moral, that is right and that is good."
"I have a
dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they
will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their
character."
"I have
decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."
"I submit
to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't
fit to live."
"I want to
be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law."
"In the
End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our
friends."
"Injustice
anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
"Life's
most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'"
"Means we
use must be as pure as the ends we seek."
"Nonviolence
is a powerful and just weapon, which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man
who wields it. It is a sword that heals."
"Nothing
in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious
stupidity."
"The moral
arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice."
"We must
learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."
"We must use
time creatively."
Monday, January 14, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Honesty
Honesty is the guiding principle for January and "Always be honest" is my first principle for life which I try to follow daily.
Some reflections on honesty:
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. ~Abraham Lincoln
Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle
A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb
A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie. ~Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment
Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~Austin O'Malley
A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent. ~William Blake, "Auguries of Innocence," Poems from the Pickering Manuscript
The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. ~Aristotle
The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby. ~George Herbert
With lies you may get ahead in the world - but you can never go back. ~Russian proverb
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. ~Josh Billings
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff. ~Ambrose Bierce
A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn
When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback. ~Bill Copeland
Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it. ~Mark Twain
Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence. ~Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays, 1911
A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. ~Author Unknown
I never lie because I don't fear anyone. You only lie when you're afraid. ~John Gotti
Worse than telling a lie is spending the rest of your life staying true to a lie. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams
Truth fears no questions. ~Unknown
There are only two ways of telling the complete truth - anonymously and posthumously. ~Thomas Sowell
Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. ~Thomas Jefferson
I don't mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. ~Samuel Butler, Note-Books, 1912
The truth brings with it a great measure of absolution, always. ~R.D. Laing
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. ~Winston Churchill
If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it. ~Author Unknown
The truth is more important than the facts. ~Frank Lloyd Wright
Like all valuable commodities, truth is often counterfeited. ~James Cardinal Gibbons
Respect for the truth is an acquired taste. ~Mark Van Doren, Liberal Education, 1943
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on. ~Winston Churchill
Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
If falsehood, like truth, had but one face, we would be more on equal terms. For we would consider the contrary of what the liar said to be certain. But the opposite of truth has a hundred thousand faces and an infinite field. ~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
When a man lies, he murders some part of the world. ~Rospo Pallenberg and John Boorman, Excalibur, based on Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory
Honesty doesn't always pay, but dishonesty always costs. ~Michael Josephson, whatwillmatter.com
A lie is just the truth waiting to be itself. ~Terri Guillemets
It is not without good reason said, that he who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying. ~Michel de Montaigne, translated from French
People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty. ~Richard J. Needham
There is always a way to be honest without being brutal. ~Arthur Dobrin
If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. ~Bertrand Russell
It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. ~Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. ~Author Unknown
When truth is divided, errors multiply. ~Eli Siegel, Damned Welcome
Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson
Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard
A little candor never leaves me. It is what protects me. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great rents in the quotidian. ~John Updike
No mask like open truth to cover lies, As to go naked is the best disguise.
~William Congreve
Truth that is naked is the most beautiful, and the simpler its expression the deeper is the impression it makes; this is partly because it gets unobstructed hold of the hearer’s mind without his being distracted by secondary thoughts, and partly because he feels that here he is not being corrupted or deceived by the arts of rhetoric, but that the whole effect is got from the thing itself. ~Arthur Schopenhauer, translated from German
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so. ~Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935
Always tell the truth. Even if you have to make it up. ~Author Unknown
The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. ~E.V. Lucas
The highest compact we can make with our fellow is - "Let there be truth between us two forevermore." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. ~Oscar Wilde
The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. ~Mark Twain
Society can exist only on the basis that there is some amount of polished lying and that no one says exactly what he thinks. ~Lin Yutang
As important in a trusting relationship as the truths you share are the lies you never have to tell. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. ~Saki
It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. ~"Homer Simpson," from the television show The Simpsons
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. ~Mark Twain
Someday a computer will give a wrong answer to spare someone's feelings, and man will have invented artificial intelligence. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. ~Jerome K. Jerome
Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. ~Author Unknown
I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't. ~Mark Twain
Some reflections on honesty:
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when
you know that you would lie if you were in his place. ~Henry Louis Mencken, A
Little Book in C Major, 1916
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. ~Mark Twain
Who lies for you will lie against you. ~Bosnian ProverbNo man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. ~Abraham Lincoln
Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle
A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb
A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie. ~Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment
Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~Austin O'Malley
A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent. ~William Blake, "Auguries of Innocence," Poems from the Pickering Manuscript
The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. ~Aristotle
The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby. ~George Herbert
With lies you may get ahead in the world - but you can never go back. ~Russian proverb
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. ~Josh Billings
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff. ~Ambrose Bierce
A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn
When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback. ~Bill Copeland
Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it. ~Mark Twain
Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence. ~Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays, 1911
A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. ~Author Unknown
I never lie because I don't fear anyone. You only lie when you're afraid. ~John Gotti
Worse than telling a lie is spending the rest of your life staying true to a lie. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams
Truth fears no questions. ~Unknown
There are only two ways of telling the complete truth - anonymously and posthumously. ~Thomas Sowell
Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. ~Thomas Jefferson
I don't mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. ~Samuel Butler, Note-Books, 1912
The truth brings with it a great measure of absolution, always. ~R.D. Laing
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. ~Winston Churchill
If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it. ~Author Unknown
The truth is more important than the facts. ~Frank Lloyd Wright
Like all valuable commodities, truth is often counterfeited. ~James Cardinal Gibbons
Respect for the truth is an acquired taste. ~Mark Van Doren, Liberal Education, 1943
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on. ~Winston Churchill
Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
If falsehood, like truth, had but one face, we would be more on equal terms. For we would consider the contrary of what the liar said to be certain. But the opposite of truth has a hundred thousand faces and an infinite field. ~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
When a man lies, he murders some part of the world. ~Rospo Pallenberg and John Boorman, Excalibur, based on Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory
Honesty doesn't always pay, but dishonesty always costs. ~Michael Josephson, whatwillmatter.com
A lie is just the truth waiting to be itself. ~Terri Guillemets
It is not without good reason said, that he who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying. ~Michel de Montaigne, translated from French
People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty. ~Richard J. Needham
There is always a way to be honest without being brutal. ~Arthur Dobrin
If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. ~Bertrand Russell
It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. ~Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. ~Author Unknown
When truth is divided, errors multiply. ~Eli Siegel, Damned Welcome
Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson
Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard
A little candor never leaves me. It is what protects me. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great rents in the quotidian. ~John Updike
No mask like open truth to cover lies, As to go naked is the best disguise.
~William Congreve
Truth that is naked is the most beautiful, and the simpler its expression the deeper is the impression it makes; this is partly because it gets unobstructed hold of the hearer’s mind without his being distracted by secondary thoughts, and partly because he feels that here he is not being corrupted or deceived by the arts of rhetoric, but that the whole effect is got from the thing itself. ~Arthur Schopenhauer, translated from German
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so. ~Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935
Always tell the truth. Even if you have to make it up. ~Author Unknown
The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. ~E.V. Lucas
The highest compact we can make with our fellow is - "Let there be truth between us two forevermore." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. ~Oscar Wilde
The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. ~Mark Twain
Society can exist only on the basis that there is some amount of polished lying and that no one says exactly what he thinks. ~Lin Yutang
As important in a trusting relationship as the truths you share are the lies you never have to tell. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. ~Saki
It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. ~"Homer Simpson," from the television show The Simpsons
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. ~Mark Twain
Someday a computer will give a wrong answer to spare someone's feelings, and man will have invented artificial intelligence. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. ~Jerome K. Jerome
Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. ~Author Unknown
I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't. ~Mark Twain
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Difficulties
I loved the prayer this morning at the sunrise meeting "I pray that I may welcome difficuties. I pray that they may test my strength and build my character." Before I got sober, I thought I should make hard work look effortless. I should never acknolwedge my struggle or fears or difficulties. In other words, I lived in massive denial. Today, I work my ass off. I struggle. I get tired. I lose hope for a few minutes once in a while. I get overwhelmed, but never defeated. I welcome failure as well as success - and I am grateful for both.
Monday, January 7, 2013
THE PROFESSIONAL INTERVENTIONIST
I love being an interventionist. So far I have done over 70 interventions and all of them successful. Only one individual failed to go to the treatment center we had planned, but he did get the right help he needed. When I practiced law, I won a great number of victories for my clients. No one ever said "Thank you. You saved my life or you have saved our son, daughter, dad, mom..." I am so happy to do this and hope I can do it for the rest of my life.
FIVE REASONS WHY I NEED A PROFESSIONAL INTERVENTIONIST FOR MY ADDICTED
LOVED ONE AND TWELVE THINGS THAT THE PROFESSIONAL CAN DO
If your loved one is caught
up in a destructive behavior, such as addiction to drugs or alcohol, gambling,
Internet addiction or an eating disorder, these destructive behaviors will not
improve by ignoring the problem and hoping it gets better, or by covering up or
by shielding the loved one from the consequences of their actions. In virtually all cases, by the time you
realize there is a problem, the behavior has been going on for much longer than
you think and is always much worse than you think. Moreover, when an individual is caught up in
addictive behavior, the very nature of the addiction is to lie, to deny,
minimize and hide it. Addiction is often
caused a disease of deception for the very reason that the disease dictates the
terms of disclosure and behavior.
But why do I need a professional interventionist?
1.
The Professional
speaks the language of addiction, the language of normal people, and the
language of recovery. Often the
Professional Interventionist serves as an interpreter. The Interventionist is usually, or is best
when, he or she is a recovering addict or alcoholic and understands the
language of addictive thinking. Examples
of addictive thinking include statements such as “I have been lying to many
people about my drinking, but if I go to treatment to get help when I am really
not an alcoholic, that would really make me a liar and I need to be honest now”
or “Why should I make any changes? I am
not the one with the problem; they are.
When others make the appropriate changes, I won’t need to drink or use
any other drug.” Often the family gets
so frustrated at the addict or alcoholic that they either explode in rage or
give up – the professional understands what the addictive thought process is
and can communicate it to both parties.
2.
The family is
susceptible to emotional blackmail.
Often the addict or alcoholic is highly manipulative and can often make
the family members feel guilty for some imaginary or real excuse for their
behavior, often blaming the family for some wrong that causes the loved one to
drink or drug. Many times the manipulations are subtle and easily effective
when the family is sued to it and the family patterns.
3.
The family has often
been enabling the addict or alcoholic and cannot change their own behavior to
see what the right solutions are.
Addiction is a family disease and everyone’s perceptions are altered by
the drugs or alcohol. The fact is that
everyone is sick and everyone suffers from the addiction. The addict or alcoholic simply has the
closest relationship to the substance.
The Professional Interventionist can see in which ways the family
enables the loved one and in which ways the loved one is manipulating the
family.
4.
The family lacks
credibility because they have not been through treatment themselves. Often no
immediate family member is in recovery or gone to treatment. Frequently, the addict or alcoholic will deflect
criticism and attacks by family members by telling them that they know nothing
about addiction so why should he or she listen to anything the family
says. Contrarily, the addict or
alcoholic will accuse other family members of having a substance abuse problem
or other problem worse than he or she has.
The addict or alcoholic will also accuse others “You take pills” or “You
drink more than I smoke daily!” The
Professional can accurately defend the family and return the emphasis on the
loved one.
5.
The main reason
that the loved one does not want to get help or go to treatment is because he
or she is afraid of the unknown – of what will happen. The Professional
Interventionist knows what is going to happen in treatment and what recovery is
like. The Professional Interventionist
has often been there – many of us, like me, were intervened upon ourselves.
What does the Professional Interventionist do?
1.
The Professional
Interventionist should be trained and Board Certified with the Association of
Professional Interventionists, with a BRI-I or a BRI-II. The Interventionist should be knowledgeable
in addiction and intervention techniques.
The Professional Interventionist is the source of knowledge on the
problem and where to go for the solution.
2.
The Professional
Interventionist will understand what is motivating the loved one to stay in his
or her destructive behavior patterns and where to turn for the right solutions
and resources to address the various issues from which the loved one is
suffering.
3.
The Professional
Interventionist will apply emotional pressure when needed and relieve the
pressure when necessary.
4.
The Professional
Interventionist will cut through addictive thinking and behaviors and enabling
thinking and behaviors to bring everyone to focus on the real problem.
5.
The Professional
Interventionist will alleviate the fears of the family and the addicted loved
one.
6.
The Professional
Interventionist will provide information and knowledge on the disease concept,
the co-occurring disorders, and the solutions available.
7.
The Professional
Interventionist will keep everyone calm when family members start to get
elevated or overly emotional.
8.
The Professional
Interventionist will seek to provide a safe and secure setting and environment for
everyone concerned.
9.
The Professional
Interventionist will coordinate various forms of care, including detox, medical
care, psychological care, addiction services and special needs care for the
loved one.
10. The Professional Interventionist can successfully
transport the loved one through the fears and apprehensions and bring the loved
one to treatment while helping the family members with their issues.
11. The Professional Interventionist can start the family
on their process of healing and recovery.
12. The most important thing that the Professional
Interventionist can do is give a great deal of hope to the addicted loved one and
inspire the addicted loved one to imagine what a recovered life can be.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
The following is an article by Casa Palmira www.casapalmira.com
7 Ways to Heal Your Childhood Trauma
Children are often
viewed as highly resilient and able to bounce back from just about any
situation, but traumatic experiences in childhood can have severe and
long-lasting effects well into adulthood if they are left unresolved. Childhood
trauma can result from anything that makes a child feel helpless and disrupts
their sense of safety and security, including: sexual, physical or verbal
abuse; domestic violence; an unstable or unsafe environment; separation from a parent;
neglect; bullying; serious illness; or intrusive medical procedures.
If you’re living with the emotional and psychological consequences of a traumatic childhood, there is hope. Here are seven ways to heal your childhood trauma and reclaim your life.
If you’re living with the emotional and psychological consequences of a traumatic childhood, there is hope. Here are seven ways to heal your childhood trauma and reclaim your life.
1. Acknowledge and recognize the trauma for what it is. Victims of childhood trauma often spend years minimizing the event or
dismissing it by pretending it didn’t happen or by succumbing to feelings of
guilt or self-blame. The only way you can begin healing is to acknowledge that
a traumatic event did occur and that you were not responsible for it.
2. Reclaim control. Feelings of helplessness can carry
well over into adulthood and can make you feel and act like a perpetual victim,
causing you to make choices based on your past pain. When you’re a
victim, the past is in control of your present. But when you’ve conquered your
pain, the present is controlled by you. There may always be a battle between
past and present, but as long as you’re willing to let go of the old defenses
and crutches you used as a child to navigate your trauma, you will be able to
reclaim control of your life now and heal your pain.
3. Seek support and don’t isolate yourself. A natural instinct that many trauma survivors have is to withdraw from
others, but this will only make things worse. A big part of the healing process
is connecting to other people, so make the effort to maintain your
relationships and seek support. Talk to a trusted family member, friend or
counselor and consider joining a support group for survivors of childhood
trauma.
4. Take care of your health. Your ability to
cope with stress will increase if you are healthy. Establish a daily routine
that allows you to get plenty of rest, eat a well-balanced diet and exercise
regularly. Most importantly, stay away from alcohol and drugs. These might
provide temporary relief but will inevitably increase your feelings of
depression, anxiety and isolation and can worsen your trauma symptoms.
5. Learn the true meaning of acceptance and letting go. Just because you accept something doesn’t mean you’re embracing your trauma
or that you like it or agree with it. Acceptance means you’ve decided what
you’re going to do with it. You can decide to let it rule your life or you can
decide to let it go. Letting go doesn’t mean “poof!” it’s magically gone.
Letting go means no longer allowing your bad memories and feelings of a bad
childhood to rob yourself of living a good life now.
6. Replace bad habits with good ones. Bad habits can take many forms, like negativity and always mistrusting
others, or turning to alcohol or drugs when feelings become too hard to bear.
Bad habits can be hard to break, especially when they’re used as crutches to
help you avoid reliving the pain and trauma of your childhood. A support group
or a therapist can help you learn the tools necessary to break your bad habits
and replace them with good ones.
7. Be patient with
yourself. When you’ve been seriously hurt as a child you develop
out-of-control emotions, hopelessness, defense mechanisms and warped
perceptions that are difficult to let go of. It will take a lot of time and
hard work to let go of these feelings. Be patient with yourself and honor your
progress, no matter how small it may seem. It’s the little victories in your
recovery that will eventually help you win the battle of healing your childhood
trauma.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2013 - The Year of Absolute Miracles!!!
Today is January 1, 2013, truly the first day of the rest of my life and Emmanuel Jal's birthday.
This year, 2013, is the Year of Absolute Miracles
Every year of my sobriety has been named something:
2005 was Absolute Adventure - Leaving my law practice, my partner of 8 years, my life and home in Chicago for a return to St. Pete Beach, Florida and sobriety.
2006 was Absolute Surrender - Relapse and loss of everything - federal indictment.
2007 was Absolute Acceptance - Getting sober solidly and facing 24 months in federal prison, Saufley Field, Pensacola Naval Airbase, Florida.
2008 was Absolute Freedom - Freedom in April 2008 and Barack Obama becomes President - HOPE - Helping Other's Providing Experience.
2009 was Absolute Hope - Discovering running and happiness with friends and business opportunities. Starting graduate school in addiction studies. Return to Chicago for the first time defeated and resurrected - Chicago Triathlon.
2010 was Absolutely Amazing - Disney Marathon (my first) 1-10-10. Early termination of probation and federal court judge, Chief Justice Holderman, endorses my efforts at drug and alcohol rehabilitation treatment. 5-18-12. Chicago Marathon 10-10-10.
2011 was Absolute Peace - Peace in South Sudan, Peace in Darfur, Peace in Mexico, Peace is Congo, Peace in Ivory Coast, Peace in Iraq, Peace in Afghanistan, Peace in Pakistan, Peace in the world. Peace. January 9, 2011 is the Referendum for Freedom in South Sudan. The Kharoum government will want to hold power. Kill. War. More Hate. More Death. I am fought for peace in Sudan. In February, I prayed to be free from my restraints and was layed off from Southern Trial Counsel because they did not like my blog reflecting on their reputation. It was the answer to a prayer. On 2-11-11, I started Absolute Adventure Radical Recovery, Inc., a firm engaged in addiction intervention and treatment. I ran 11 marathons - half and full.
This year, 2013, is the Year of Absolute Miracles
Every year of my sobriety has been named something:
2005 was Absolute Adventure - Leaving my law practice, my partner of 8 years, my life and home in Chicago for a return to St. Pete Beach, Florida and sobriety.
2006 was Absolute Surrender - Relapse and loss of everything - federal indictment.
2007 was Absolute Acceptance - Getting sober solidly and facing 24 months in federal prison, Saufley Field, Pensacola Naval Airbase, Florida.
2008 was Absolute Freedom - Freedom in April 2008 and Barack Obama becomes President - HOPE - Helping Other's Providing Experience.
2009 was Absolute Hope - Discovering running and happiness with friends and business opportunities. Starting graduate school in addiction studies. Return to Chicago for the first time defeated and resurrected - Chicago Triathlon.
2010 was Absolutely Amazing - Disney Marathon (my first) 1-10-10. Early termination of probation and federal court judge, Chief Justice Holderman, endorses my efforts at drug and alcohol rehabilitation treatment. 5-18-12. Chicago Marathon 10-10-10.
2011 was Absolute Peace - Peace in South Sudan, Peace in Darfur, Peace in Mexico, Peace is Congo, Peace in Ivory Coast, Peace in Iraq, Peace in Afghanistan, Peace in Pakistan, Peace in the world. Peace. January 9, 2011 is the Referendum for Freedom in South Sudan. The Kharoum government will want to hold power. Kill. War. More Hate. More Death. I am fought for peace in Sudan. In February, I prayed to be free from my restraints and was layed off from Southern Trial Counsel because they did not like my blog reflecting on their reputation. It was the answer to a prayer. On 2-11-11, I started Absolute Adventure Radical Recovery, Inc., a firm engaged in addiction intervention and treatment. I ran 11 marathons - half and full.
2012 was the year of Absolute Achievement. - I was hired to do work on an admiralty case that I had once dreamed of working on. I was hired by Spencer Recovery Centers Florida as a drug and alcohol counselor and interventionist. I was also hired by Intervention Specialists as an interventionist. I ran the equivalent of 12 full marathons and triathlons.
2013 is the year of Absolute Miracles.
Prayer for Peace
Praying for peace in South Sudan.
Praying for freedom for e'ry child, women and man.
I heard about Darfur and cared with my head.
And while I cared, more found dead.
Then I heard the song of Emmanuel Jal,
My heart opened wide and I heard the call.
I can't stop the screams and the cries of pain.
I can't close my eyes and pretend again.
Now, I can't turn away and deny what's going on.
The children and the faces show what's wrong.
Who am I? A convicted felon, gay, recoverying alcoholic and an activist.
Who am I? Lawyer, adventurer, interventionist and economist.
Who am I? A guy with integrity to fight against racists.
I am strong in spirit, body and mind.
I am a lover of life and all mankind.
I have enough love and tears for all who need them.
I will fight for the weak, the poor and the children.
I will run for GUA until my feet wear out.
I will not be silent, going to scream and shout.
We want peace for South Sudan.
We want peace in Africa throughout the land.
Enough blood; enough war.
Shout for peace for South Sudan and for Darfur.
We got to stop the killing and stop the greed.
We got to find the answer and meet the need.
Enough is enough of all this hate.
No time to discuss; no time to debate.
Let's tell our governments and demand our Presidents.
Peace for Sudan; let's stop the precedents.
Human beings and tribes must live and thrive together.
Before we destroy our land, our nations, our water and weather.
God protect us from war and disease.
Give us hope and give us peace.
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