FINDING HOPE IN TRANSITION

Once we start to take the hard steps to change our lives and to build our lives with a new perspective, we learn that attitude is critical.  My attitude comes from my perspective.  I am amazed how quickly my perspective can change.  I can see a problem or a challenge...I can see an ordeal or an adventure. My attitude determines if I will fail or succeed, if I will be happy or sad...So as life goes into transition, I must find HOPE...I must cultivate hope. I am told HOPE never abandons us, we abandon HOPE. In the end, HOPE may be all I have; but, only then, I realize that HOPE is all I need.  



Friends

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT
DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY,
THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT;
AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE

THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH
THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE!
AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.
AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:
'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE'

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED 'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT'

LEARN TO WRITE MY HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.
THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!  DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

MAY GOD BLESS OUR FRIENDSHIP

Honesty

January is the month of honesty.  We can talk and talk about honesty.  Would we speak honestly?  I am learning that honesty is more than not telling a lie. I find it hardest to be honest with myself, but that is where it must start.  Honesty is:

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.
Author: Proverbs 24:26

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive! - Marmion.
Author: Sir Walter Scott

To make your children capable of honesty is the beginning of education.
Author: John Ruskin

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.
Author: Spencer Johnson

Look a man in the eye and say what you really think, don't just smile at him and say what you're supposed to think.
Author: Source Unknown

An honest man's the noblest work of God.
Author: Alexander Pope

Do not do what you would undo if caught.
Author: Leah Arendt

Dare to be honest and fear no labor.
Author: Robert Burns

The elegance of honesty needs no adornment.
Author: Merry Browne

Don't measure your neighbor's honesty by your own.
Author: American Proverb

There is no twilight zone of honesty in business. A thing is right or it's wrong. It's black or it's white.
Author: John F. Dodge

No such thing as a man willing to be honest -- that would be like a blind man willing to see.
Author: F. Scott Fitzgerald

Honest hearts produce honest actions.
Author: Brigham Young

No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.
Author: Judith Martin

Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure.
Author: Joseph Sugarman



Adversity

Adversity introduces us to ourselves." That is true, but after we meet, the adventure is getting to know what we are capable of becoming...me, learning to lose ego and learning to love again...God, I am so grateful for this stage of my struggle.  The greatest prayer I ever said was "God, show me how you see me." But only say this prayer if you have the courage to be introduced to your true self.  I had to be prepared for some difficult truths.

 



Emotional Sobriety is Maturity

We alcoholics and addicts often act like children, especially when we are in the grips of our addiction.  We have been described as "King Baby" and "childish" and we are more demanding than most babies obsessed with our desires.  We are told that our maturity is halted at the point where our addiction takes hold.  For me, the self-will and the constant need to have life my way on my terms caused a great deal of chaos and pain to myself and everyone around me.  

When I finally achieved some time in sobriety and had to spend 10 months in federal prison making amends to the legal profession, I learned the hard way that I did not need anything my way to be OK with the way things were.  I learned to totally accept life on life's terms.  What happened to me was a process of become mature.  A year after my release, I read a memoir of Nelson Mandela's time in prison and when he was asked what changed most about him during his 27 years in prison, he replied after a long pause "I just grew up!" When I look back on my time in prison, it was the same. I simply learned to grow up.  

Growing up and maturing means that I accept life on life's terms.  I look for the best in bad situations.  Simply because I do not like or agree with something does not make it wrong.  I am not always right, but rather frequently wrong.  Growing up in maturity means that my opinion is only one opinion and everyone, everyone has the right to an opinion.  Maturity means that to live and let live, I have to let everyone do what they will and then I get to live free.  When I live and let others live, I can expect to live free... 

Martin Luther King's Birthday

Today we celebrated the Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. which was actually January 15, 1929. He was assassinated on April 4, 1968.  He had many famous speaches and was one of the USA's greatest orators and leaders.  He brought a gentle revolution to America and changed the world.  Today, I read from my friend, Melony, one of the "We will err and falter as we climb the unfamiliar slopes of steep mountains, but there is no alternative, well trodden path. There will be agonizing setbacks along with creative advances.  Our consolation is that no one can know the true taste of victory if he has never swallowed defeat!" Dr. Martin  Luther King.  For those of us who seek the Adventure of Recovery or the Adventure of Life, this statement is particularly true. 



Act on Your Inspiration

Regardless of how absurd your inner callings might seem, they're authentically yours.  They don't have to make sense to anyone else.   The willingness to listen and act on your inspiration, independent of the opinion of others, imperative.