Sober Adventure...when one ends, another begins.

One year ago today, I was in Chicago to appear before in federal court before the Chief Judge of the Northern District of Illinois to present my motion to terminate my probation early.  The federal prosecutor, Nancy and Jim T, from the Federal Defender's office were there.  Judge Holderman presided.  The motion was granted and I was finally out of a four year nightmare.  But I caused that nightmare.  My problems are always of my own making.

In the last year, I have had so many sober adventures. The Chicago Marathon and the Miami Marathon.  About 10 half marathons - Daytona Beach, Space Coast, Gasparilla, Floridathon, Orlando OUC, Miami Beach, Florida AIA and Melbourne Music Half.  I have made countless new friends.  Sailed. Studied.  Written books. Discovered new artists.  Enjoyed sunsets and sunrises.  Full moons.  Seen incredible animals. 

Cherished people - Brenda, Kelly, Reggie, Ramel, Carlos, Bill, my parents, Terry and Michael, Claire, Todd and Julie, Corey, Rafael, Gail, Imelda, and Emmanuel Jal. 

I am alive and healthy.  I am sober. It is all I need. Not all I want, but all I need.

Endeavor

So today was the final launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor, the youngest space ship in the fleet.  We watched outside from Orlando, Florida as it took off from Kennedy Space Center.  The USA hit its debt ceiling of $15 trillion today and many other things happened around the world.  I told my story to ex-federal prisoners at Dismas Charities and perhaps I inspired them to try to change their lives.  All I know is I did my best today and will go to bed to get up and do it again tomorrow.

What could be so important?

I am running around marathon multistasking today.  This meditation helped me go back to a better place:

What Could Be So Important?

Make not treasures on earth, where moth
and rust corrupt and thieves break in and steal.  Find your treasures in heaven. Wherever a man’s
treasures are, there will be his heart. — Jesus Christ

When I travel, I carry a black briefcase that contains all of my important materials, including a computer, airline tickets, checks I have received, and an address book. Because these items are so vital, I keep the briefcase with me almost all the time. Before delivering a lecture one evening, I set the briefcase down next to the stage, and when I looked for it after the talk, it was not there. Suddenly my heart seemed to skip a beat, and I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. My fear that the satchel had been stolen was almost debilitating. When I asked the lecture sponsor if she had seen the briefcase, she answered, “Oh, yes, I put it in my office for safekeeping. ”

While I was relieved that the briefcase was safe, I could not help but notice how I had tied my peace to it. I asked myself, “What in that brief–case could be so important that I would lose the peace of God with it? ” I wondered how much the anxiety over protecting the property had cost me in the long run. It was a poor trade. What you possess, possesses you. Whenever we value a thing more than happiness, we pay a dear price. Things can be replaced, but peace cannot.

Is there anything you value so much that you would lose your happiness if you lost it? Have your succumbed to worshiping at the altar of fear rather than the citadel of trust? What is your black briefcase?

The Sufis suggest, “Do not value anything that could be washed over–board from a ship. ” When we remember we are here to love, all else becomes secondary.

Help me keep You first today.
Let me not make any false gods before You.

I live to love. I am safe. My heart is at peace.

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This meditation is an excerpt from Alan Cohen's meditation book, A Deep Breath of Life. If you liked today's meditation, please support the author and purchase the book by clicking here.

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Staying Conscious - Rules for Staying Humble

Staying Conscious

Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World

1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down the. You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.

2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.

3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.

4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.

5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.

6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members - loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.

7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.

8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often.  After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.

9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.

10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often "on the go" and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.

These were taken from a message I received from a publication called the Daily Om.com.

MOTHER'S DAY

My mother was the last one to give up on me when I was in the grip of my alcoholism and she kept me alive when I probably should have died.  She, admittedly, enabled and was majorly codependent, but it was because of her dedication to me that I ultimately did get sober and never give up on anyone.  Never.   She was told to let me stay on the street, to give up on me and let me be homeless.  She was told thtat I had to fall as hard as possible.  She would not let that happen, but at the same time, she never stopped pushing me to never give up on myself. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!!

It's never too late to start your day over...or your entire life!

I remember getting up one day feeling great and then one thing after another kept going wrong until I finally decided to erase the day clean and start the day over...We can do that for the day or for the event...or for our entire life.  Starting fresh is great.  Just starting.

Today is 05-05-11.  It is as good a day as any to start something new...I am going take control of myself and do one thing to bring me closer to a goal, a dream, a target..."Whatever you can do, or dream you can, BEGIN IT! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." Goethe

Attitude of Gratitude

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread.  They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances..." - Victor Frankl

Today, I had to run around and get documents for my application for the Certified Addiction Specialist certification and I met with my former probation officer, one of the best people I have met in Orlando, and I met with the director of Crossroads Treatment Center, again a truly wonderful person.  Both women gave me encouragement and cared about me because they know that I care about others...I try to be the one giving away my bread...but today, I am hungry.I have given it all away.

I am grateful for so, so many things, but today I am grateful that I know this is just a day, just one day.