FINDING HOPE IN TRANSITION

Once we start to take the hard steps to change our lives and to build our lives with a new perspective, we learn that attitude is critical.  My attitude comes from my perspective.  I am amazed how quickly my perspective can change.  I can see a problem or a challenge...I can see an ordeal or an adventure. My attitude determines if I will fail or succeed, if I will be happy or sad...So as life goes into transition, I must find HOPE...I must cultivate hope. I am told HOPE never abandons us, we abandon HOPE. In the end, HOPE may be all I have; but, only then, I realize that HOPE is all I need.  



Friends

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT
DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY,
THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT;
AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE

THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH
THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE!
AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.
AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:
'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE'

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED 'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT'

LEARN TO WRITE MY HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.
THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!  DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

MAY GOD BLESS OUR FRIENDSHIP

Honesty

January is the month of honesty.  We can talk and talk about honesty.  Would we speak honestly?  I am learning that honesty is more than not telling a lie. I find it hardest to be honest with myself, but that is where it must start.  Honesty is:

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.
Author: Proverbs 24:26

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive! - Marmion.
Author: Sir Walter Scott

To make your children capable of honesty is the beginning of education.
Author: John Ruskin

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.
Author: Spencer Johnson

Look a man in the eye and say what you really think, don't just smile at him and say what you're supposed to think.
Author: Source Unknown

An honest man's the noblest work of God.
Author: Alexander Pope

Do not do what you would undo if caught.
Author: Leah Arendt

Dare to be honest and fear no labor.
Author: Robert Burns

The elegance of honesty needs no adornment.
Author: Merry Browne

Don't measure your neighbor's honesty by your own.
Author: American Proverb

There is no twilight zone of honesty in business. A thing is right or it's wrong. It's black or it's white.
Author: John F. Dodge

No such thing as a man willing to be honest -- that would be like a blind man willing to see.
Author: F. Scott Fitzgerald

Honest hearts produce honest actions.
Author: Brigham Young

No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.
Author: Judith Martin

Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure.
Author: Joseph Sugarman



Adversity

Adversity introduces us to ourselves." That is true, but after we meet, the adventure is getting to know what we are capable of becoming...me, learning to lose ego and learning to love again...God, I am so grateful for this stage of my struggle.  The greatest prayer I ever said was "God, show me how you see me." But only say this prayer if you have the courage to be introduced to your true self.  I had to be prepared for some difficult truths.

 



Emotional Sobriety is Maturity

We alcoholics and addicts often act like children, especially when we are in the grips of our addiction.  We have been described as "King Baby" and "childish" and we are more demanding than most babies obsessed with our desires.  We are told that our maturity is halted at the point where our addiction takes hold.  For me, the self-will and the constant need to have life my way on my terms caused a great deal of chaos and pain to myself and everyone around me.  

When I finally achieved some time in sobriety and had to spend 10 months in federal prison making amends to the legal profession, I learned the hard way that I did not need anything my way to be OK with the way things were.  I learned to totally accept life on life's terms.  What happened to me was a process of become mature.  A year after my release, I read a memoir of Nelson Mandela's time in prison and when he was asked what changed most about him during his 27 years in prison, he replied after a long pause "I just grew up!" When I look back on my time in prison, it was the same. I simply learned to grow up.  

Growing up and maturing means that I accept life on life's terms.  I look for the best in bad situations.  Simply because I do not like or agree with something does not make it wrong.  I am not always right, but rather frequently wrong.  Growing up in maturity means that my opinion is only one opinion and everyone, everyone has the right to an opinion.  Maturity means that to live and let live, I have to let everyone do what they will and then I get to live free.  When I live and let others live, I can expect to live free... 

Martin Luther King's Birthday

Today we celebrated the Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr. which was actually January 15, 1929. He was assassinated on April 4, 1968.  He had many famous speaches and was one of the USA's greatest orators and leaders.  He brought a gentle revolution to America and changed the world.  Today, I read from my friend, Melony, one of the "We will err and falter as we climb the unfamiliar slopes of steep mountains, but there is no alternative, well trodden path. There will be agonizing setbacks along with creative advances.  Our consolation is that no one can know the true taste of victory if he has never swallowed defeat!" Dr. Martin  Luther King.  For those of us who seek the Adventure of Recovery or the Adventure of Life, this statement is particularly true. 



Act on Your Inspiration

Regardless of how absurd your inner callings might seem, they're authentically yours.  They don't have to make sense to anyone else.   The willingness to listen and act on your inspiration, independent of the opinion of others, imperative.

The Tale of Two Wolves

I recently heard this story and I love it.  There was once a great warrior and he had a long and rich life.  When he was a grandfather, he once told his grandson the Story of Two Wolves. One wolf lives inside us and is full of anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.  The other wolf inside us is full of joy, peace, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, faith, happiness and love.  Life then is a constant battle between the two wolves...The young grandson sat with amazement and asked, "Which one will win?" The warrior replied,  "That depends...that depends on which wolf you feed." 

The attached picture is from my friend, Nsimbikakusa Buthelezi, who died recently.  This post is in memory of him...he fed his latter wolf.  

Prayer and Meditation

I have found it indespensible to start my morning with a prayer the moment I wake up and to end the day with prayer.  I so often forget to pray during the day, like I would rather stress or worry about something than pray about it.  I was told that if I can worry, I can meditate...so I try to meditate by thinking of nothing for 10 minutes, longer if possible. 

Meditation consists of two processes: One is insight - paying attention to what is arising. The other is surrender - letting go of the attachment to the thoughts that arise.  In other words, as I sit trying to empty my mind, I notice what comes to mind and then let it go...

Peace and Freedom in South Sudan.

On January 9, 2011, the people of South Sudan will vote in a Referendum for Independence from Sudan and this will create a new country in Africa. The outcome looks good, but it is only a first step. It is like coming out of prison; I am free, but now what? It is like getting sober; I am clean, but now what? This is only the beginning of another great adventure. As a people of diverse tribes, South Sudan must move forward as a nation. I, too, as a free man must move forward as a clean, sober man of courage and integrity. www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1ZEJWVSiEI

21 Days to Prosper

Today is the 3rd Day of a Program I am doing on Prosperity. I am taking a 21 Day Fast from Spending - only food and absolute essentials. I am learning how little I need to spend to get by on a daily basis.

The Well Being of God

When I remember to summon the well-being of God and know that I am always connected to the Source, it is then that I am connected to the good of the Universe. Each one of us represents God or Spirit revealing itself in our presence.

My 12 Rules of Living

Many people have a code or a set of rules for living. In Judiasm and Christianity, there are theTen Commandments. In Buddhism, the Five Basic Precepts set forth rules for living. Recovery programs have 12 Steps. I believe all these have value and many more as well. In 2010, I created my own 12 Rules for My Own Life, not for anyone else but for me to live.

They are the following:

1. Always place love first.

2. Always do what I say I am going to do.

3. Walk through fear; run through great fear and run toward the Lions' Roar.

4. Remember to ask for HELP = His Ever Loving Presence.

5. Always have a Mentor.

6. Never give up just before the miracle happens.

7. Always tell the truth.

8. Always treasure the paradox; we surrender to win. We keep our gifts by giving them away. We are loved when we give love.

9. Welcome adversity as well as prosperity because we are so much better for going through adveristy than we are in our prosperity.

10. Live one day at a time.

11. Remember that HOPE never abandons us; we abondon hope. Just TRUST.

12. Sober Life is an Adventure; cherish it always.

Another Beginning 2011

Today is January 1, 2011, truly the first day of the rest of my life and Emmanuel Jal's birthday. It is also the beginning of many new starts - I started this day with my best friend, Brenda Thompson and then I ran a 5K Race in Clearwater, Under Pressure, time 28:28. 28 minutes; 28 seconds. I don't know what it means, but it means something. Every year of my sobriety has been named something - 2005 was Absolute Adventure. 2006 was Absolute Surrender. 2007 was Absolute Acceptance. 2008 was Absolute Freedom. 2009 was Absolute Hope. 2010 was Absolutely Amazing. I decided to name 2011 "Absolute Peace" for my desire for Peace in South Sudan, Peace in Darfur, Peace in Mexico, Peace is Congo, Peace in Ivory Coast, Peace in Iraq, Peace in Afghanistan, Peace in Pakistan, Peace in the world. Peace. January 9, 2011 is the Referendum for Freedom in South Sudan. The Kharoum government will want to hold power. Kill. War. More Hate. More Death.

So, now, I am fighting for peace in Sudan.

Prayer for Peace

Praying for peace in South Sudan.

Praying for freedom for e'ry child, women and man.

I heard about Darfur and cared with my head.

And while I cared, more found dead.

Then I heard the song of Emmanuel Jal,

My heart opened wide and I heard the call.

I can't stop the screams and the cries of pain.

I can't close my eyes and pretend again.

Now, I can't turn away and deny what's going on.

The children and the faces show what's wrong.

Who am I? A convicted felon, gay, recoverying alcoholic and an activist.

Who am I? Lawyer, adventurer, interventionist and economist.

Who am I? A guy with integrity to fight against racists.

I am strong in spirit, body and mind.

I am a lover of life and all mankind.

I have enough love and tears for all who need them.

I will fight for the weak, the poor and the children.

I will run for GUA until my feet wear out.

I will not be silent, going to scream and shout.

We want peace for South Sudan.

We want peace in Africa throughout the land.

Enough blood; enough war.

Shout for peace for South Sudan and for Darfur.

We got to stop the killing and stop the greed.

We got to find the answer and meet the need.

Enough is enough of all this hate.

No time to discuss; no time to debate.

Let's tell our governments and demand our Presidents.

Peace for Sudan; let's stop the precedents.

Human beings and tribes must live and thrive together.

Before we destroy our land, our nations, our water and weather.

God protect us from war and disease.

Give us hope and give us peace.