We alcoholics and addicts often act like children, especially when we are in the grips of our addiction. We have been described as "King Baby" and "childish" and we are more demanding than most babies obsessed with our desires. We are told that our maturity is halted at the point where our addiction takes hold. For me, the self-will and the constant need to have life my way on my terms caused a great deal of chaos and pain to myself and everyone around me.
When I finally achieved some time in sobriety and had to spend 10 months in federal prison making amends to the legal profession, I learned the hard way that I did not need anything my way to be OK with the way things were. I learned to totally accept life on life's terms. What happened to me was a process of become mature. A year after my release, I read a memoir of Nelson Mandela's time in prison and when he was asked what changed most about him during his 27 years in prison, he replied after a long pause "I just grew up!" When I look back on my time in prison, it was the same. I simply learned to grow up.
Growing up and maturing means that I accept life on life's terms. I look for the best in bad situations. Simply because I do not like or agree with something does not make it wrong. I am not always right, but rather frequently wrong. Growing up in maturity means that my opinion is only one opinion and everyone, everyone has the right to an opinion. Maturity means that to live and let live, I have to let everyone do what they will and then I get to live free. When I live and let others live, I can expect to live free...
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