Monday, June 6, 2011
Lose to Win...again and again.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Three Steps to Long Term Sobriety
Three Steps to Long Term Sobriety
Sober Living
The failure rate is frightening when it comes to addicts recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. Based on publically available statistics, a small percentage of us will actually achieve life-long sobriety. Although it is definitely possible, the odds are not in favor of us breaking through that difficult barrier. Many will struggle and fail to achieve this goal. If you want to succeed, you need to have a firm grip on a few key principles that can propel you to success.
1. The zero tolerance policy
It is amazing how often this policy is avoided and pushed into the background of conventional recovery treatment. The concept is powerful and very simple to grasp. It begins with making a pact with yourself that you will not use drugs and alcohol no matter what happens. Then the rest of your life is simply structured around maintaining this personal self-agreement. The pact you have made to yourself offers the benefits of peace, serenity, and growth in the quest of your ultimate sobriety goal.
The bedrock foundation of your commitment is that the zero tolerance policy must take priority above anything else going on in your life. You simply "can’t go to this horrible and dark planet." Practicing this can have a real impact on your overall level of happiness and life stability.
For example, if you are having a difficult day and are experiencing thoughts of wanting to drink or use drugs, you have to implement the zero tolerance policy, like the crew of Star Trek uses the “red Alert”, and immediately fire breaking thrusters to shut this down. If you find that this isn't working, and the invading thoughts of using alcohol or drugs continue to repeat inside your head, then you must take immediate action to overcome your craving....before it escalates further. Different people will have diverse methods of coping with this condition. For example, some of you might call a sponsor, others will attend a meeting, and some people might phone a friend who is going through recovery and communicate about these difficult cravings and thoughts about using. Whatever works for you is what works....the key is that you need to be proactive in this solution and always maintain the zero tolerance policy. This means shutting down any glorification or romancing thoughts of drinking or using drugs.
2. Holistic approach
As your recovery progresses and you begin to accumulate more sober time, the challenge of staying clean on a day-to-day basis starts becoming a little easier as your cravings slowly subside. You will actually begin to find peace, serenity, and balance in your daily life. Relapse is still a threat, and always will be of course, but now the challenge starts shifting away from simply achieving survival by abstinence and towards accomplishing something greater with your life.
A holistic approach to recovery is what drives success in this area. The concept of holistic emphasizes your whole life. Bringing your existence into a full state of balance is a powerful step toward achieving life-long sobriety. As your recovery progresses, life becomes meaningful again, and the need for balance becomes increasingly important as the recovering person gains more responsibilities in their life. There are a number of ways that a broad, holistic approach to recovery can facilitate achieving this balance for a lasting and powerful sobriety.
3. Create your life with vision and purpose.
Would you like to know what really motivates the recovering alcoholic and has the potential to supercharge their recovery? The answer lies in moving beyond mere abstinence from chemicals and discovering the creative new life forces in recovery. This is about finding your passion and purpose in a new life while growing as a person and possibly helping other people in a meaningful way. Life becomes exciting again and you start to look forward to each new day.
Do you remember how exciting and fun the "good times" were when you first started drinking and drugging? Those days are gone forever, but you can start living with that same passion and excitement in your life again by discovering the creative life and applying the principles to your recovery. Finding a support family or group, which you can find peace is 50% of your battle. Support groups have been found to provide a better chance for your success.
This is an article from Knol, a blog of Bridges Sober Living. The link to the blog is attached.
http://knol.google.com/k/bridge-sober-living-homes/three-steps-to-long-term-sobriety/3998bex8zqw3w/1#
It is amazing how often this policy is avoided and pushed into the background of conventional recovery treatment. The concept is powerful and very simple to grasp. It begins with making a pact with yourself that you will not use drugs and alcohol no matter what happens. Then the rest of your life is simply structured around maintaining this personal self-agreement. The pact you have made to yourself offers the benefits of peace, serenity, and growth in the quest of your ultimate sobriety goal.
The bedrock foundation of your commitment is that the zero tolerance policy must take priority above anything else going on in your life. You simply "can’t go to this horrible and dark planet." Practicing this can have a real impact on your overall level of happiness and life stability.
For example, if you are having a difficult day and are experiencing thoughts of wanting to drink or use drugs, you have to implement the zero tolerance policy, like the crew of Star Trek uses the “red Alert”, and immediately fire breaking thrusters to shut this down. If you find that this isn't working, and the invading thoughts of using alcohol or drugs continue to repeat inside your head, then you must take immediate action to overcome your craving....before it escalates further. Different people will have diverse methods of coping with this condition. For example, some of you might call a sponsor, others will attend a meeting, and some people might phone a friend who is going through recovery and communicate about these difficult cravings and thoughts about using. Whatever works for you is what works....the key is that you need to be proactive in this solution and always maintain the zero tolerance policy. This means shutting down any glorification or romancing thoughts of drinking or using drugs.
2. Holistic approach
As your recovery progresses and you begin to accumulate more sober time, the challenge of staying clean on a day-to-day basis starts becoming a little easier as your cravings slowly subside. You will actually begin to find peace, serenity, and balance in your daily life. Relapse is still a threat, and always will be of course, but now the challenge starts shifting away from simply achieving survival by abstinence and towards accomplishing something greater with your life.
A holistic approach to recovery is what drives success in this area. The concept of holistic emphasizes your whole life. Bringing your existence into a full state of balance is a powerful step toward achieving life-long sobriety. As your recovery progresses, life becomes meaningful again, and the need for balance becomes increasingly important as the recovering person gains more responsibilities in their life. There are a number of ways that a broad, holistic approach to recovery can facilitate achieving this balance for a lasting and powerful sobriety.
3. Create your life with vision and purpose.
Would you like to know what really motivates the recovering alcoholic and has the potential to supercharge their recovery? The answer lies in moving beyond mere abstinence from chemicals and discovering the creative new life forces in recovery. This is about finding your passion and purpose in a new life while growing as a person and possibly helping other people in a meaningful way. Life becomes exciting again and you start to look forward to each new day.
This is an article from Knol, a blog of Bridges Sober Living. The link to the blog is attached.
http://knol.google.com/k/bridge-sober-living-homes/three-steps-to-long-term-sobriety/3998bex8zqw3w/1#
Life goes on...This too shall pass....More will be revealed.
I am so, so grateful to live a sober life of adventure. In the next two weeks, I will do daily marathon training, complete a course on addiction counseling from Stonebridge University in the United Kingdom, study for and take my Certified Addiction Specialist exam on June 10, 2011, serve as Chairperson for the We Are Not Saints Recovery Roundup - June 2-5, 2011 at Gay Days in Orlando, Florida, and continue my work as a law clerk with two lawyers. I face a monumental amount of pressure and stress, but I pray and get quiet in meditation. I stay connected with others, eat right and get good exercise. And I am sober. In 2 more days, it will be 5 years.
Four years ago on Memorial Day, I was preparing for leaving the next day to surrender to the Federal Prison Camp in Pensacola, Florida. I would fly to Atlanta, see my friend, Odini, and then fly to Pensacola where I would spend 10 months to make amends...
Yesterday, I met with my AA sponsor. I rarely speak about AA because this blog does not endorse or reflect AA. But I did a formal 5th Step, for the third time. It is an incredible experience to share the darkest things about yourself to God and another human being. It shines light on shadows.
I have so much sork ahead still to clean up the wrekage of my past, but I am making progress - even as I continue to make mistakes which I must clean up as well.
I went to the beach this morning to run and I took my mother so that she could walk and have her time with God. I think about the people I love and the fact that a life lived awake is so glorious. I am a sober alcoholic and I am helping people. This is really good. I make mistakes, but today I am really doing good work, God's work. I am worth something and I am worthy again.
Four years ago, I thought nothing good would ever happen again in my. life I could not imagine or see a good life. I cannot tell you how many people have enriched my life and that what I thought was the end was actually a new dawn and a wonderful new beginning.
Four years ago on Memorial Day, I was preparing for leaving the next day to surrender to the Federal Prison Camp in Pensacola, Florida. I would fly to Atlanta, see my friend, Odini, and then fly to Pensacola where I would spend 10 months to make amends...
Yesterday, I met with my AA sponsor. I rarely speak about AA because this blog does not endorse or reflect AA. But I did a formal 5th Step, for the third time. It is an incredible experience to share the darkest things about yourself to God and another human being. It shines light on shadows.
I have so much sork ahead still to clean up the wrekage of my past, but I am making progress - even as I continue to make mistakes which I must clean up as well.
I went to the beach this morning to run and I took my mother so that she could walk and have her time with God. I think about the people I love and the fact that a life lived awake is so glorious. I am a sober alcoholic and I am helping people. This is really good. I make mistakes, but today I am really doing good work, God's work. I am worth something and I am worthy again.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Sober Life is about taking healthy risks...
In my alcoholism, my judgment became impaired all the time, whether I was intoxicated or not, because I was hiding mistakes I had made or cutting corners for lost or wasted time. I took unbelievably unhealthy risks to myself and others. Once sober, there is a tendency to play it safe and that can be a very good thing, but playing it too safe can cut me off from esteem building, potential reaching acts...Sober life is about taking healthy risks. To live fully and largely can exist along with humility and peace.
Today, I will take sober risks. I heard recently the story of a woman who did not want to hope for great love because she felt that she was unworthy of great love. She settled for a mediocre, uninteresting, passionless relationship and, in the end, that relationship failed too. She became so despairing because she thought that perhaps it would have been better to seek the best and fail, rather than seek the easily obtainable and fail. Perhaps minor failure is worse than great failure when the stakes are not so high...
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
How We See the World
"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."
- Anaïs Nin
It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves."
- Carl Jung
They say that alcholism or addiction is a disease of perception because alcholics or addicts take mind or mood altering substances to alter our perceptions. Recovery, sustained recovery, I believe is the ability to change our perceptions to exist in this world at peace, happiness and joy...and also in the face of tragedy, crisis, sadness, disappointment and failure. Recovery from a disease of perception is the ability to achieve a change in perception so as not resort self-defeating, self-destructive and self-limiting actions. Recovery is accepting that the bad stuff is the good stuff.
- Anaïs Nin
It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves."
- Carl Jung
Monday, May 23, 2011
Father and Son
Today is my father's 75th birthday. We are very different and we agree on very little, but my sobriety has been the bridge to our relationship. I do not know why we see the world so differently, but I am grateful for the ability to learn another perspective. I am grateful for the lesson I have learned on what to do and what not to do. I am grateful for my father's humanity. When I was very young, I wanted to worship him and then I learned that I could not and I saw his weaknesses.
When I became so sick, he really hated what had happened to me, but never stopped loving me. Today, he does not understand or approve of so much of me, but he has unfaltering loyalty and support of me anyway. My father is a paradox and that is fine with me because all good things in my life are paradoxes. Happy Birthday, Pops!
When I became so sick, he really hated what had happened to me, but never stopped loving me. Today, he does not understand or approve of so much of me, but he has unfaltering loyalty and support of me anyway. My father is a paradox and that is fine with me because all good things in my life are paradoxes. Happy Birthday, Pops!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Confidence...Going in the direction of my dreams
"Every man [woman] is born into the world to do something unique and something distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never get done." - Benjamin Mays (1895-1984) Educator. On May 19, I turned 49 and I have so much adventure left. I have a dream to build a treatment center in Orlando, Florida and I must do this to make amends.
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